I share these under the name humour in uniform: small jokes from life in urology.
Neuro or uro?
A patient with a neurological problem came to a urologist for treatment of burning pain in the sole of his foot. The confusion came from two words that sound alike: neuro and uro. Adding to the confusion, some of us specialise in neuro-urology.
Inside the theatre
Do we need to check the gauze mop count at sign-out after an endourology procedure? Endourology is surgery done with telescopes through the urinary passages, with no open wound.
Time is frozen. During complex procedures, my circulating staff member announces the time elapsed since the start of surgery, every 30 minutes. Sometimes I feel that 10 minutes have passed when she announces 30.
As a kid, I wondered what I would do if my nose itched once I was scrubbed. Now I know. Like a military man, I take control of all my body functions once scrubbed. I get immersed in the surgery, and then I forget my own existence.
On force, and a heart
In urology surgery, one never applies force. If you need to apply force, stop and rethink. There are only a few exceptions, such as cutting the ribs or the pubic symphysis (the joint at the front of the pelvis) during some open surgeries.
And with love from urology: calcium oxalate monohydrate, for sure. After a PCNL (keyhole surgery to remove kidney stones), a heart came out of the kidney.